On banking a cheque

ST. ALBANS, Jan 2 – I’ll be brief. I have a cheque to bank – a rare event.

I’m gazing at it now. Seventy-eight pounds and forty-five pence. It has my name on it and that of Deutsche Bank, with the bank’s stolid logo – the bold outline of a blue box enclosing a diagonal line floating in white space from bottom left to top right.

Doubtless there is deep meaning locked in the logo. The euros it must have cost in design fees. Move over seventy-eight pounds and forty-five pence! Nothing will have been left to chance. Image analysts with doctorates galore will have earned buckets.

Not that I’m envious. For there’s another name on my cheque, that of the payor: amazon.co.uk. The cheque, you see, is my first royalty payment for works rendered in the name of ebook-writing.

As it has taken me over 10,000 hours – more like 20,000 – to earn, that’s an hourly rate of 0.8-to-0.4 pence. The cheque is dated June the 20th, 2014. I’ve pondered framing it. But, no, today I’ll bank it.

With luck I’ll see more of Deutsche Bank’s 12-by-12mm logo on a cheque with my name on it. Maybe in 2020. Yes, most wise folk would opt for monthly payments into their bank accounts, as I may yet well do myself. That said, there is a certain magic.



by R J Askew


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